Posts by Elysse West
Elysse West has been told that she needs to "stop with all the zombie crap" and write something real. Like that's going to happen.

Review: “Blood Night: The Legend of Mary Hatchet”

Based on an urban legend, “Blood Night: The Legend of Mary Hatchet” takes a page from the folklore, which can’t even decide where the legendary events took place.

The movie tries too hard to play homage to the classic horror of “Friday the 13th” or “My Bloody Valentine,” while also attempting to be “intelligent cinema” by pumping in too much information about a rare mental disorder. (No spoiler here, as they bring it up in the opening credits, but there have only been 250 documented cases of menstrual psychosis in the last 100 years.)

It’s the typical slasher flick set-up: a group of teens celebrating a local-tragedy-turned-holiday, partying in the house of the girl whose parents have conveniently left town. And the clichés start racking up from there, from a cleverly-yet-transparently disguised Ouija board to the moment where all modes of transportation and communication are cut off from our teen heroes. Yawn.

Let’s hit the low points, so that we can end on a higher note. And yes, there is one. Read more

April 12, 2010 | Filed Under Movies, Reviews | View Comments 

“Find A Grave”: Like A Phone Book For Dead People

Lottie’s TombstoneLooking to put flowers on Doc Holliday’s grave–or maybe a bottle of whiskey–but it’s been so long since you’ve seen “Tombstone” that you can’t remember where they said he was buried?

Never fear, Find a Grave is at your service. Or, at least, they know where it was held.

Listing well over six thousand actors and close to four thousand authors and writer, Find a Grave has to be the largest grave index on the internet. Some contributors are credited with close to a million postings.

And before you scoff and say “oh, but when was the last time it was updated?” check out the New Listings page that includes Dan Fogelberg and Benazir Bhutto. Or the more recent 2008 Necrology. Read more

January 10, 2008 | Filed Under Funerals, Reference | View Comments 

Learn How To Protect Yourself From Zombies

Zombie Party II (Image: Chris Walters)

Bringing you information to help you survive the inevitable zombie uprising, promoting awareness and defense techniques, Zombies Are Coming is a useful site for everyone from the undead neophyte to the already-stockpiling-canned-goods-and-ammunition veteran.

While it is a relatively new site, it also is a timely one!

Special features to look for…

(Image: Chris Walters)

October 29, 2007 | Filed Under Zombies | View Comments 

What’s in a name?

Clown College Graduate

Are you planning on raising that baby as the Antichrist or the next Hitler? Maybe you’re just planning on sending him to clown college…

Either way, that kid’s gonna need a name befitting an evil destiny. Don’t worry. You don’t have to wade through obnoxiously cheerful baby name books looking for that one gem that could be just right for your malevolent progeny. The following links will take you to sites where they’ve done the work for you.

Much to our surprise, and despite all previous references to its evil propensities, Damien is not on either list.

The Canonical List of Evil Baby Names

20,000 Names (a list of less-traditional, highly-likely-to-get-your-kid-teased-mercilessly names)

September 27, 2007 | Filed Under Lists, Reference, Strange But True | View Comments 

Make your own horcrux

LifeGem Pendant

Well, not really. You can’t encapsulate part of your soul into these little gems. But they are part of you. Your ashes, to be exact.

In the past, your ashes had two options:

Now, thanks to the genius folks at LifeGem®, you can have those ashes turned into gemstones. Through a process we like to call Elken Magic (because we don’t actually understand how this works), ashes of cremated individuals are filtered and compressed to make a “certified, high-quality diamond.”

Due to the unique nature of our scientific process, every single LifeGem will be a different shade, like a sunset captured in time or a wave upon the ocean. The elements and unique makeup of your loved one’s carbon directly affect the resulting color of your LifeGem diamond(s).

The process has become so streamlined over the last six years that they are able to create gemstones from locks of hair.
For our friends in the UK, here’s a link to Ashes 2 Gems, a company similar in mission to LifeGem.

September 20, 2007 | Filed Under Funerals, Shopping | View Comments 

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