Monkeyskull

Redneck bar wipeout from “Near Dark”

Chris Walters — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 02:15:22 +0000

My favorite scene from one of the best vampire movies of my childhood. Rediscovered via Cinematical.

Near Dark Bar Scene
by CreatureCorner

Worm therapy: get yourself dosed up with some parasites on purpose

Chris Walters — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 20:27:21 +0000

I don’t know if “worm therapy” has any legitimate medical underpinnings, but hey, doctors love to sling leeches and handfuls of maggots around operating rooms willy-nilly these days, so maybe it’s time to invite the hookworms and tapeworms in to the party.

Hookworms cost $2400. The “dosing” is 10-24 worms. Suggested treatments:

The conditions that are actively being researched are Crohn’s Disease, Ulcerative Colitis, Asthma, Allergies, Coeliac disease, Eczema, Multiple Sclerosis, and Psoriasis. There are theoretical reasons to believe that Atherosclerosis, Depression, Grave’s disease, Irritable bowel syndrome, Fibromyalgia, Hashimoto’s thyroiditis, Sjorgen’s syndrome, Lupus, Migraine, Non-Ulcer Dyspepsia, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Psoriasic Arthritis and Diabetes type I might respond.

Tapeworms are more of cosmetic thing. They seem to treat far fewer illnesses–the site only lists asthma and allergies–but that’s because the real purpose is weight loss. Fortunately, a tapeworm dosing is only $1400, so if you start saving now you’ll be able to afford one before you have to go to that wedding at the end of summer. I’m pretty sure, thought, that if you want to go the DIY route you can just eat some raw pork.

wormtherapy.com
(Photo: nayrb7)

“His bite was outta site!”

Chris Walters — Tue, 19 May 2009 09:03:14 +0000

It is a stormy night without rain in 1780! At Castle Dracula! The wicked Count is entertaining royalty from “the dark continent,” as he calls it, as if he thinks he’s some sort of colonial patriarch, and yet he refuses to do proper business with the Africans. In fact, he supports slavery! Who knew the Count was a slave owner? No, none of this makes any sense, but blaxploitation films are not revered for their plots. What matters is the Count bites this “dark prince,” and thus creates BLACULA, the film world’s only black vampire (to my knowledge) until Vamp came along in 1986.

Below is the opening sequence to the movie:

Why resurrect Blacula now? Because Amok Time and Sideshow Replicas have released a 12″ articulated replica of the Prince (see photo at top of post). What makes this figure rock is he’s got three interchangeable heads, including my favorite, the rotted corpse look. Every doll should come with this, particularly Bratz dolls. What makes this not so special is the price is $65, which puts it out of the reach of all but serious collectors.

Oh well, even if you can’t afford it, click through and take a look at the awesome work that went into modeling the three heads.

Buy Blacula at Sideshow Collectibles
Read more about Blacula at this Cinematical post.

Scotland Yard considers opening its “Black Museum” to the public

Chris Walters — Fri, 08 May 2009 01:29:57 +0000

When serial killers and other violent criminals terrorize Britain, their possessions–equipment, souvenirs of victims, personal belongings, or simply crime scene evidence–are stored away in the Crime Museum, also known as the Black Museum, a 120-year-old private collection that Scotland Yard’s investigators have access to, but not the general public*. That may change if Boris Johnson, the mayor of London, has his way. He wants to open up at least part of the collection as a tourist trap, noting, “If we had a Black Museum, we would have tourists queuing around the corner.”

No, this is not an exhibit from the Black Museum.

Among other things, the museum contains notes alleged to be from Jack the Ripper, items owned by Dr. Hawley Crippen (an American doctor hanged in London in 1910 for murdering his wife), the clothing that Police Constable Keith Blakelock was killed in when a mob tried to behead him in 1985, various nooses used to execute men, and death masks of executed criminals. I’m trying to imagine what they’re going to be able to sell in the gift shop without looking completely tasteless.

* although special appointments can sometimes be made

Official Crime Museum page at the Metropolitan Police website

(Photo: eschipul)

Meet your new pet spider

Chris Walters — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 12:31:14 +0000

This 3D, interactive spider at onemotion.com is an impressive feat of Flash animation and physics. You can adjust the color, size and speed of the little fella using sliders, then move your mouse cursor to a location on the map and press the space bar to deposit a tiny fly, and watch the spider make its way over to feed.

www.onemotion.com/flash/spider/

Zombie t-shirt so tacky it will scare away real zombies

Chris Walters — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 12:23:39 +0000

You know what I like about this shirt? It’s only $5! It’s also so ugly that I’d be a little excited to wear it in public, because it would annoy people. And then after stepping outside I’d realize the error of my ways and wish I’d thought about this “annoying people” plan a little more, because it’s not a very good idea, and now I have to walk around with a green ghoul holding a purple brain. Oh well. It would probably look good under a black light. And at five bucks a shirt you could buy one for everybody in your family, even Grandma.

Zombie with Brain Black T-Shirt at socheapithurts.com

New ALIENS warrior available for pre-order

Chris Walters — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 12:15:18 +0000

Gah, it hurts… I have to tell you this before the chestburster explodes through my breastplate like a tiny screeching Godzilla on crack. Mmmfff, can you pull some of that webbing off my face so I can see you? Thanks. This amazingly detailed ALIENS warrior figure is 7″ tall and fully poseable, and only $17 if you pre-order from Horrorbles.com.

Because if you have to give a gift this year, then someone should suffer.

Make your own zombie Barbie

Chris Walters — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 11:55:06 +0000

Bratz may have the child-hooker market cornered, but when it comes to disturbingly beautiful corpses, you pretty much have to look to Barbie. It’s what I used back in high school to make my own Laura Palmer gift for a friend (”She’s dead, wrapped in plastic!”), and it’s what Paranaiv is using for his own custom zombie doll look. His secret weapon: an exposed skull showing through the broken face. Nice!

Check out his site for step-by-step photos on how to make your own.

Behind Barbie of the Dead [via BoingBoing]

Tokyo insect-chef pens cookbook you will never, ever need

Chris Walters — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 13:32:29 +0000

Thanks to Yoichi Uchiyama, you’ll never again have to worry about how to properly prepare Argentine cockroaches to serve at your next dinner party. After all, is there anything more embarrassing than serving an undercooked cockroach to your spouse’s boss? Yes: overcooking the maggots!

Uchiyama runs an insect-cooking blog written in some crazy, made-up language (here’s a Google-translated version), and now he’s put his kitchen experience into print.

His blog is infested (ha, get it?) with pics of various bug recipes he’s invented, as well as photos of people who have sampled his food. (They all look like students on field trips, not surprisingly.) Click through for more mouth-watering photos.

Fun fact: I just felt something crawl across the back of my neck while I was typing this, and I totally spazzed out.

Disturbing photographs recreate your earliest nightmares

Chris Walters — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 11:49:15 +0000

Monsters under the bed. Monsters disguised as adults. Ghouls reaching out for you through the cellar stairs. The remains of victims waiting to shock you in the fridge. These are the sorts of things Joshua Hoffine’s photographs explore, with his own daughters posing, frozen in mid-scream, in many of them.

Fangoria writes:

The photos contain some familiar iconography (scary clown, candy-bearing witch, cartoonish red devil, a half-buried hag that will look familiar to any Evil Dead fan), but the minutiae and compositions have a sneaky way of guiding the eye and surprising you. Spend several minutes staring at “Wolf,” a distressing action shot of a screaming half-naked child crouched on a staircase as a snarling wolf bears down upon her, and you finally notice the male human hand in place of a front paw.

You can pick up most of the photos in the series in 13 x 13″ sizes for $50 apiece, which is a great price for some original artwork.